Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love], While our vineyards are in blossom.
Song of Solomon 2:15 AMP
[I]n every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 AMP
Recently, about several months ago, the Lord began addressing an issue regarding a lack of gratitude operating in me. He brought it to my attention, and I purchased the audio book version of Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss (a highly recommended read).
As I listened to this audio book and began to meditate on what the Lord was demonstrating as a root of many problems within certain areas of my life, I began to realize – He was right!
What a revelation, right?
But before you laugh too hard, the failures I was experiencing in my life were so deep rooted and such painful things it was very hard to see clearly through these to become aware of this blind spot I had within me. This issue of ingratitude touched many areas within my heart to include self-hatred, bewilderment and bitterness, denial of certain issues, blindness to problems, etc.
Apparently, you can become blind to how completely blind you are!
As the Lord established this new conscientious practice concerning gratitude, I began to watch demonic principalities over my life just fall apart. Kaboom.
Just like that.
It seemed so bizzare. And before you think this was an easy switch, let me assure you – it was so hard to spot, the Holy Spirit had to be the one to show me! It would have been hard to convince me using reason and logical arguments.
He pretty much had to take the blindfold off for me to know that I had a blindfold to start!
I began to find something I was genuinely grateful for. But before I tell you the process the Lord gave me, let me give you some context to start.
My teenage children decided they wanted to live with their dad and not me anymore. I was slowly careening into an invisible mental health crises that I didn’t even know had started, I picked up a drug addiction, committed suicide, became disabled from a condition that’s basically C-PTSD on steroids, lost my job… I could go on and on, but that’s probably enough details for the point to make it home right now.
I am telling you. I literally was losing it. And I was trying SO HARD to overcome it!
And I was losing. And every loss just drove me further away from winning it felt like.
And then… He took the blindfold off.
Gratitude. Pick something. Anything. But it has to be something you can be absolutely, completely, and totally sincerely grateful for.
And I picked my feet.
Don’t ask me why. I have no idea. I just was looking down (sorrow is head-hanging heavy), and the only thing in line of sight was my feet.
I imagined what life might be like if I had to struggle newly single, childless, helpless, alone in life without my feet. And to anyone who does not have their feet, my heart with deepest heartache goes out to you, and I mean it! Because in that moment, something struck me.
What if I was dealing with everything I was going through and also did not have my feet?
And I began weeping. Just so wholeheartedly thankful for both feet and all 10 toes. I thanked God, and I thanked my feet! You can look at me weird, but sometimes you have to tell yourself thank you also!
That very day, I made it an exercise. I had to do it on purpose and with sincere intent, and there would be days I would forget, but slowly, surely I began to witness a rise out of a pit of great despair that had so overwhelmed me I didn’t even know it was a pit. I just believed I was forever lost in total darkness.
But then The Light came and rescued me. Not only that, He HELPED ME. He taught me with great understanding and compassion for my tremendously overwhelming circumstances.
This was a Love that illuminated ME.
And my response has been a LOVE that longs and sincerely desires to illuminate HIM and all He has done for me.
Now, I would love to end this story by saying all my problems were swept away. But this isn’t a Disney Movie. This is reality with Our Great God who can do so many impossible things in an instant. And also allows many things to remain a process. He is the Creator of time after all.
What was swept away was my attitude of ingratitude.
To this day, if for any reason I find myself starting to complain, it is gradually becoming easier and quicker for me to stop and do the same exercise I did that day.
Stop. Slow down. And that does not mean to invalidate the pain or heartache that may be staring you straight in the face.
It is simply to say thanks.
In spite of all that has come and may come my way…
Just, thanks.
Thanks to the One Who has rescued my soul from a darkness so black I truly thought I was lost to the night.
Thanks to the One Who SHOULD BE lifted high and glorified for look at the great things He has done! He is CHRIST! The Holy Anointed One! King over all the earth.
And You came. And You died. And You rescued my life. And when You got out of that grave SO DID I.
And I will never be the same. And may I never forget TO ALWAYS GIVE YOU PRAISE and say…
THANKS to my El Shaddai!